ok it a satday night really late all i can think about is god i wish i was diffrent i have bin single for 2years now and my 2 best friends are both in seriose relationships all i can think about it maybe if i die my hair brown and work out and be thiner would i get a boyfriend but that would take ages and all my friends say to me you don't need to change your well pritty and when the right one come along you will look sexy in his eyes no matter how hard u try to make urself ugly lol now a guy i use to fancy really bad said if i still fancyed him he would think about goin back out with me and i don't no what to think or do i really want to be in a relationship but the thing is i don't want it with him i don't think i think i want it with some stranger you no the one your eyes meet across the room some stupid romance like that i am going to collage soon i want to go try and forget about all the hard times in hiht school and if i did most of the bad time would stay wih me cuz he is invoed in one of them and that one links to two things the same wat i want to forget i don't no what to do or say thow i feel like is i say yes i will regret it and my past from high school will hant me and if i say no i might not find a boyfriend for ages again. i want romance not a ow u devers a second chance i realyl want a gf lets give it a go see wat happens ow and don't tell any one if we do i want a guy who don't care if any one who they are datein cuz he is proud to be with me and would sing a song out side my house if we fall out or at least say he is goin to lol any way if u have any thought about this it would be a big help to figer out wat to do and at the min i am cryin sreain at my wrist and thn bk at my msn convo i don't no wat to do for now i am gonna go lie in bed and think xx night night